Stupidest Accessories



And speaking of summer’s at home, there’s always the British festival season. And it does for bad accessories what a full moon does to werewolves. Now, I don’t want to be a fun sponge, I totally get the appeal of knobbing around a field with a face full of glitter, a belly full of beer and someone else’s friends, in fact it’s usually the highlight of my year (second to Notting Hill Carnival which I enjoy or similar reasons) but there is a line and it should be respected.

Unnecessary (usually feather) headdresses and flower garlands are a particular bug-bear. In my opinion, in most cases, these could all be replaced by a post-it note which reads ‘I’m not as interesting as you think’ and would create the same effect. More or less. The interesting catch here however, is that this is the case when celebrities like Poppy Delevingne (above left) try it as well as the non-VIP’s (above right). Bindis also tend to fall into this category, but in many ways they are worse. Bindi’s don’t say ‘I both understand and respect other faiths’, they scream ‘I like ketamine!’ Everyone knows festivals are a free-for-all, so imagine how much worse these accessories appear in the real world where things like hygiene and social standards exist.  I know.

However, these grievances seem to fall beneath the wayside in the wake of the festival wristband stunt. You know the one I mean; it’s one which exists all year round in certain circles, but only really comes to flourish in the summertime. The festival’s ended, we’ve all had ball, weeks pass, daily routines are resumed and these mangy old wristbands, riddled with god knows what (or who) hang around the wrists of girls and boys. And yeah of course, the culprits might very well have just been too bloody busy to find a second to snip them off, but they probably haven’t. Good luck if you meet these perpetrators at any kind of buffet event.

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